UNRECOGNIZABLE!

Who are you?

The question that makes the back of my throat hurt as I choke back tears, trying to explain the person I have become.

I can distinctively tell that my heart is blackened.

Was it the novelty of the moment, the abysmal series of shortcomings or pain compounded from the unfolding of life that got me here? Did I gloom on to them too much that I shattered when they left?

I still don't know quite what to make of it.

What I know is that cynicism has taken up temporary residence in my head. Thoughts of implied rebuke torment me. 

I am dashed to the rocks, feeling empty and incomplete.

As I fumble my way out of this tailspin, one thing I am learning is to extend myself the courtesy of my good graces, even though I sometimes begrudgingly offer it.

I am sure you would too. I mean, how can you brim over with elegance and ratchetry at the same time?

The discrepancy between who I thought I was and the reality of who I am now, is hard to reconcile. However, there is no shame in admitting it, there is just shame in pretending otherwise.

Despite it all, one thing still holds true; as long as we are in this God's plentiful earth, there is still hope for me. There is still hope for you.