SURVIVAL!

They say no one leaves this world unscathed. Life experiences have a way of scarring our journey. While scars can be beautiful reminders of victories won, it is easy to mistake them for scabs. See, that's the thing about wounds, you think you are healed, only to itch and scratch then realize it's still fresh.


That is what happens when you've gone through the trauma of being in an insufficient environment. It could be that people you relied on were never there for you when you needed it the most or you were made to believe something is wrong with you. As a defense mechanism, you adopt new ways of living that are performance based. Always working to outdo your previous actions; chasing that elusive destination of perfection.


Suddenly, you are reluctant to trust your own ability to make right decisions resulting in always seeking consensus for the choices you make.Your happiness becomes pegged on the amount of validation you get.


As much as recognition is good and has a lot of reach in pampering our ego,we shouldn't let it define who we are. This is because the minute you are at the crowds mercy, they will churn and turn you, build you up and tear you down till you no longer recognize who you are. Praises, retweets and comments fluctuate according to people's preferences. The only validation we should aim to seek is that which exists independent of likes, followers and accolades.


This is not to say that you should now be too arrogant to consult or be advised. Being ruthless to survive means killing a part of you that makes living worthwhile. All I am saying is that sometimes all you need to do is go ahead and act as your conscience prompts you even if its absurd to your reason. It's a delicate balance; knowing when to seek counsel, recognizing when you are seeking validation and knowing when to follow your instincts. This is especially hard because its easier to lie to the world than it is to be honest with yourself.


However, don't let the closed eyes of others make you lose sight of yourself. Relinquish the need to live your life as a performance. The path to healing starts when you come to yourself and realize that you are not born inadequate. A variance of life experiences is what causes us to feel that way and live on edge.


When you start pulling back the covers and processing these emotions, the frequency and intensity of these feelings of inadequacy starts to fade. You can then build capacity to experience positive feelings and self- affirmations.


As Dr. Thema says, "once you fight through what time and circumstances have made you, I hope you come home to this truth, that you don't have to perpetually work to prove worthiness.You are enough. You have nothing to prove. Any moment you catch a glimpse of this truth, is freedom."

Disclaimer.
I am not yet a therapist. This article shouldn't be used for self-diagnosis. In case you need professional help, please reach out to a licensed psychologist.